Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Learning to be married

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6

This is a glimpse into a few of my many failures, faults. Slowly I am learning. I have a long way to go.

Some things I've learned so far:

1. Divorce is not an option, don't even bring it up, ever.

2. Don't ever argue in front of your children

3. Be extra forgiving of the faults of your spouse

4. Listen, don't be so quick to speak what is on your mind

5. Smile and speak sweetly

6. Only take marriage advice from couples who have been married longer than you (preferably longer than 10 years). Don't take advice from divorced women or newly weds.

Our marriages are a life long relationship. They are a gift from God and have the potential to be the greatest earthly relationship we will ever experience. If our spouses should be the most important person in our world, why do we then place our children above our spouse? Why do we set them higher than our mates? Our children are also a gift from God, but the time they live with us is temporary. The time we are with our spouse is forever.

Why do we wives think we can push our husbands aside, and pour ourselves into our children, homes, friends and churches? What is left for the man that we have been blessed to share our lives with? We save the very last for them, and expect them to just deal with it.

My husband doesn't act the same as when we were dating. And, do I? Not at all. Our husbands deserve the best, our first. They put up with so much from us. They deserve our all. Of course this doesn't mean to neglect our children. duh! ;) If we gave as much to our men as we do to our kids, churches, friends, think how awesome our marriages would be. We wives have a lot of power over our marriages. We can make or break them most of the time.

I am purposing to pray more for my husband.  Not just the normal daily prayers, but really spending time with God focusing on praying for my husbands heart, his needs and his leadership in our family.

We set the precedent for our childrens' marriages. Our marriages should be ones our children want to emulate. Through my failures as a wife, I'm afraid I started off on the wrong foot in showing them what a help meet really is. The older girls are getting closer to the age where they will want to start looking for a mate and I hope that what they learn from me will be beneficial to a life long loving happy marriage. They see a lot more than we think they do.

I'm still learning to do things Gods way and not my way. My way has proved to be very wrong. As I learn God's way of being a mother, I notice my children are calmer, happier and better behaved. As I learn God's way of being a wife, I notice my husband being more loving, helpful, giving and a stronger leader.

I've tossed in the towel on the worlds way of raising a family and being a wife. I've seen the worlds children and marriages, and I want NOTHING to do with them. My marriage is far from perfect, in fact it's not one to model after. As we overcome struggles, work through differences and pass through those times of just not "feeling in love", we will become stronger. We want our daughters to someday come to us and be able to express their need for guidance because they saw us make it.

I thank God and my husband for their patience with me. 


Joann said...

I really enjoyed this post. Michal Thompson is my sister in law and she is always talking about you and your walk with God. It is good to see that through trials you come closer to God! Seeing your growth in the Lord is a huge encouragement to me!

Kimmie said...

Thank you. Michal has been such a blessing to me, more than she will ever know. She is such a special and wonderful woman.

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