Monday, October 26, 2009

The Controlling Husband

I read the enclosed post on a blog a while ago. Some recent conversations I've had made me think of it. I had to search to find it. Again, I know that it is impossible for everyone to run their lives the same way, or for every woman to be home. A conversation I had yesterday, about a single woman not ever wanting a man to control her by her being home, led me to find and share this post below.

I used to be the woman who never wanted a man to control her. I was the woman who would never ever say home. I was the feminist type, until I learned how to be more feminine. I don't think a lot of women realize that their job has more control over their lives than a husband would. I have much more freedom now that my husband is in "control" than when my job was. And, at least I know my husband cares and loves us more than anything, and he's working to take care of us, rather than an employer who can fire me at a moments notice.

Not all of the post below supports my feelings or opinions, and it may be a little extreme in some parts.

This is the original source:

From what some people have written and commented, it seems that my life comes off as perfect, and even more so that my husband must just be the greatest and most wonderful guy. But let's face it - he's human.

So for a different kind of Father's Day post, I thought I'd put my husband in the right light by telling you all the negative things you never suspected much less knew about him.


For starters, he forces me to get up early every morning. Me and all the kids have to be dressed and presentable enough to leave the house by no later than 8 am. He tells me what to wear (and what not to wear). The style he dictates can best be described as "business casual", although on Fridays (go figure) he lets me wear whatever I want.

Since he is into the alarm business, and we have surveillance cameras for safety, he uses those to check on me via the internet throughout the day, making sure I don't have too much "idle time". He is pretty much okay with me taking one 15 minute break every 4 hours, and about 30 minutes for meals. I am not allowed to talk on the phone with friends and relatives unless all my work is done, which never happens, so I have to call them without "getting caught". I am not supposed to use the computer recreationally during the day.

He doesn't like having the kids around much, and often forces me to leave them to be watched by people who I don't know all that well (although they did come with good references). Some days, they are only home for breakfast, dinner, and bedtime. I have to come up with the money to pay the babysitter, and also paying half the bills. It can be so stressful. Worse yet, he has told me that anytime he doens't like the way I act or do things, if I don't obey exactly as I am told, or if I don't get all my work done, he can just leave me and find somebody better.


Anyone who even knows my husband remotely, knows that NONE OF THE ABOVE IS TRUE, and I hope you read down this far to figure out I was just joking. I especially hope my husband's mom did!

I wrote the above to illustrate the life of today's "liberated women" who have a career rather than staying home to raise children. If all the above statements were true about my husband, everyone would think he was a total jerk. Yet if I had a job that brought with it all the things I mentioned, that would be considered normal by our society.

These women are the ones who must get up early day in, day out, even when they don't feel like it. They are the ones who are told what to wear, and the ones who are watched on CCTV (think anyone in retail, banks, etc). They are told when to eat and when to have a bathroom break. They are forced to pay to surrender their kids to near strangers, and to be raised by government schools. At the end of the day, they have hardly seen their children. Working women are expected to shoulder the burden of the family finances, and all too often are also left with all household-related chores.

For all that, they make hardly any profit by the time they pay for taxes and work-related expenses, and by not having the time to shop for bargains and save in other ways such as cooking from scratch, gardening, etc.

Anytime they mess up, or the boss doesn't like them, or the economy takes a hit, they can be let go without second thought. Those dear co-workers that they traded for raising children will not even remember their names any more in a few years. Their life's work and fulfillment is wrapped up in something that has no eternal value whatsoever.

I am not talking about women who are forced to work due to circumstances outside of their control, such as being left by their husband, or a husband who forces them to work. Nor am I talking about moms who find enjoyable employment from home, or ladies who cannot have children and want some "outside" interaction.

I am talking about women who of their own free will decide to pursue a career rather than motherhood because they find it "liberating" and "fulfilling". Who pop birth control pills like candy, even though it turns them into a walking, talking hormonal zombie just because they dread the thought of being "tied down" with a baby. Sadly, these women have been deceived by our society to think that they are free when they are really just obeying somebody else, in addition to missing out on the countless blissful moments that children bring.

In an attempt to stamp out "sexism", women are expected to act, dress, and perform like - men. If that isn't extremely sexist, I don't know what is. I don't want to be a man any more than I want my husband to be a woman. It is not a question who is "better" or has it "easier". Men and women are different (fundamental, I know), and each have certain strengths to suit the work that God created them to do. My washing machine and my dishwasher are both great at washing, but if I decided to liberate the washer by putting dishes in it instead of laundry, it wouldn't be pretty or functional. The same is true for the roles of men and women.

And just to set the record straight, yes, I do think that my husband is great and wonderful. He is the most generous, friendly, and loving person I have ever met, and a fantastic Dad. Because of his hard work in providing for our family, I am free to raise the children and have fun with them. Is he perfect - no. But he is the next closest thing to it as far as I'm concerned. And I am one happy, blessed, and liberated woman!

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