Twin Mix Up

The day before yesterday I put the little twins hair in sponge curlers. They wore it all day and all night and we took them out the next morning. Their curls were so absolutely cute. I took a picture of them.

I had it set in my head that the one on the left was Emily and the one on the right was Julia. Later in the day I showed Emily and pointed to the one on the left and said "look how cute your hair is all curly". She said giggling "That's Julia not me". I quickly replied "NOOO That's you"..... "Mom, I wore the pink monkey shirt". Yikes.

Usually they have very different expressions on their faces. Emily is right, that's her on the right, but she has a very Julia-ish smile going on.

I have to laugh at myself. People as me all the time "How do you tell them apart?". I guess it's not as easy as I say it is. They are identical after all. Any mother of twins who has done this will understand how very weird it feels to "love" one as if they were the other one.

Children and Tattling

I read this blog article today and wanted to share. It is full of "meat" on training your children regarding talebearing and gossip. In our house there are plenty of little ones who seem to enjoy calling another out. When I was a child one of my siblings was a natural born tattler. Nothing creates more damage to a sibling relationship than talebearing. I still hold some irritation in my heart about being told on for every single thing I did wrong, while this other sibling seemed to show the attitude of perfectionism.

I struggle with ceasing strife among my children. I want them to be close and best friends and do not want them to be looking for another to slip so they can tell about it. That's evil and prideful.

Here is a snippet of the article with the link to finish.

Sin Grown Up

“Mommy! Grace got a cookie!” My three-year-old, Emma, announced with chubby arms crossed and indignant lips pursed. “It was really big. You want me to go get her for you?”

Fighting the urge to be amused, I scooped Emma up and headed for the bathroom mirror. There I showed my sweet little tattle-tale her own reflection and the chocolate liberally smeared across her guilty face.

Emma’s eyes widened as she saw her sin exposed. She immediately burst into tears and cried, “Oh Mommy, Grace didn’t mean to do it!” Suddenly, my young daughter was very concerned over how much mercy her sister would receive for her transgression! It’s funny how merciful we become when we realize our own sinfulness and how deserving we are of the same punishment we’ve been hoping for someone else!

Unknown to Emma, Grace had permission to eat the cookie. Emma did not have all the facts. If she would have confronted Grace first, she would have discovered the truth and avoided falling into her own trap. Also, the cookie was not “really big” it was the same size as the others. As is typical with a tattler, Emma was exaggerating, wanting the sin to appear bigger than it actually was.

Our children are given to us to train up in the way they should go. As parents, we must remember that our day to day family life is training ground (practice) for the future. God willing, our children will one day function in their own families, workplaces, and churches. Left unchecked, the sins we see in them today, will be the sins we see in them as adults—only the sins, along with our children, will have “grown up.”

The child who is allowed to enjoy tattling now, will one day be the adult who has developed a habit and taste for gossip—both by spreading it himself and by allowing the “tasty morsels” to enter his own ears—and soul. (Proverbs 11:9, 18:8)

The heart of gossip

We can help our children to examine their hidden motives for tattling. There is always a motive behind sin and it almost always boils down to some form of pride.

Envy: There may be an element of envy involved and the fact that the “sinner” has apparently been caught gives the tattler some sort of bitter satisfaction. One who spreads or listens to gossip is taking sinful delight in the transgressions of another. Many times it may even appear irrelevant whether or not the morsel of gossip is true or proven. Somehow, it makes us feel better about ourselves to learn that someone else slipped up; and the gossip can seem especially delicious if we are secretly envious of that person.

A child who rarely violates the rules may be a “great catch” to those children who seem to always get caught in sin themselves. Children must be taught early that it is wicked to delight in the sins of others and to spread potentially slanderous information; they must remember they will someday give account for every idle word. (Matthew 12:36)

Click to read the rest of the article at Raising Homemakers.

Our homeschool curriculum for this 2010/11 school year

This school year will be our first "full" academic year as homeschoolers. The oldest girls will be in 7th grade and the little girls will dabble a bit in some pre-K or K for 4 year olds. Things will be a little more structured for the older girls this year than they were last year.

In February/March 2010 we decided (after much prayer) to take Kiley and August out of the public middle school and homeschool them. At the advice of a few homeschooling parents and a book I read, we "took it easy" for the remainder of the year. It was a little lax to allow them time to decompress and unwind from the traditional school setting. During this time I was able to observe and learn a little about their personal styles of learning. I was got a better idea their study habits, styles of working, strengths and weaknesses, etc. I also learned a great deal about myself. I am a lot less anxious moving into this school year. Most of my fears are gone and I'm confident in our decision to homeschool our children. This is most definitely the best decision for our family.

We are currently homeschooling through a public charter school, which means they are still public school students and subject to the requirements of the state for education. I am very much considering a PSA for the next school year.

The past few weeks I've been figuring out which curricula we will be using. I don't want to be tied down to just one set curriculum, so we will have a variety.

Science - We're going to be using Apologia General Science. This came highly recommended by several parents I've talked to. After much research, I decided this will be best for us. We will also be using the State Science book to close any gaps in state standard requirements if there are any.  The reason I'm so concerned about the state standards is because we still have to take standardized tests. Most of what we will be covering this year will go way above and beyond the general academics of the state of California. I am confident that the girls will be able to excel much greater than they could before.

Math - I'm still hesitant on the math, but I think we're going to go ahead with Saxon Pre-Algebra. This past year we used Teaching Textbooks, but I was told they are not CA Standard, and the girls fell behind this year in math. They were both recommended a rigorous pre-algebra course. I'm praying Saxons curriculum will provide that. I'm excited about re-learning pre-algebra myself. There is a lot you forget in 13 years.  I don't want to give TT a bad rep. I think it would have worked fine for us if we had used it correctly. I couldn't quite figure out which lessons were best for them. It seemed a little younger than the grade it was supposed to be for. Perhaps if I'd had 7th grade TT it may have been right. Who knows. I'm not so worried about it, Adam is very strong in math, along with my mother and father in-law who have offered their help if we need it. One of the men at our church offers an Algebra class on Thursday nights, so we are all taken care of. If all else fails, I can hire a math tutor.

History and Geography - We will follow the Holt or Glencoe/Mc-Graw-Hill book or whatever it is they have. I did this last year. I previewed all the lessons and sometimes had them read about things from different books and not the boring text books. They drew maps and time lines for the Ancient Civilizations this last year, they learned a lot that way. 7th grade will bring us to Medieval and Early Modern Times, I think this will be a lot of fun. I bought a huge laminated world map from Costco and hung that up in our dining room (or main homeschool area).

Reading, Writing and Language Arts - We will follow 7th grade lessons, but I'm not certain which items I will use yet. The girls LOVE reading and writing and so this will be more fun than work.  I have reviewed several 7th/8th grade literature and book lists and am compiling our list.  They are still shaky on cursive writing, it seems it's not required to know this or write this way in public school so I'm going to reteach them and have them copy Psalms in cursive to learn, both the scripture and the cursive. There are 4 different benchmark writing samples we have to provide to our charter school.

Bible - We will be reading the Bible in 1 year I chose a chronological schedule. We will be studying women in the bible. I will also be including Biblical history and geography direct from our King James Bibles.


In addition to the main subjects, August and Kiley are continuing Violin, taking a Public Speaking class, given by a Christian (fully homeschooled) college student who has won many PS awards and contests. They will be doing 4-H twice a month where they will be taking, sewing, cake decorating, biology, tae kwon do, fine arts, creative writing, healthy living, outdoor study (trees, plants, birds etc). They are playing soccer for their 5th year. Of course they will be learning the wonderful art of homemaking from me. They love sewing, menu planning, baking and cooking and have finally learned how to do their own laundry, Yay. They also really enjoy teaching their sisters, so far they have taught them how to write their names along with small 3 letter words, a small amount of violin and are planning on teaching them to play chess.

Seems like a lot, but it's takes roughly half the amount of time each day as a typical public/private school schedule. And since they are entering that "pre-teen I'm so tired I want to sleep until 10am" phase. They freedom to do that. They also are free to go out and see the world around us each day. We do spend a considerable amount of time outside of our home.

Emily and Julia feel all grown up when they get to sit at the table and do their own school. Mostly it's just been coloring or drawing. I did pick up several pre-K workbooks from the dollar store and Target's dollar section. I've also been contemplating ordering Galloping the Globe a year early. It is a geography unit study curriculum for K-4th grade. It goes through all 7 continents. I'm still checking to be sure they are not too young to grasp it this year. They are very bright so they may be just fine. I'll probably still order and hold on till next year if it's too much for them. I want to get them familliar with the world and countries. With the new world map we have they will be able to know where all the countries, continents and oceans are located. They are learning some basic violin taught by their older sisters. Bible scripture memorization will be added more frequently than before. I like to have them act out the words of the scripture, this helps them remember it better. Above all, they will free play. I don't agree with all that sit down and do this structure for young kids, and am VERY against traditional pre-school, which is relly just a daycare with "school" added to the name to make it sound better. Their sit down workbook time will be at their own request or when they are doing "blanket/chair time". They are so excited to have their own school work to do just like big sisters. Emily and Julia also love, love, love to bake with me. They are quite good and cracking eggs, measuring and stirring. I'm thinking they should be able to read recipes in a year, or memorize them.

It's going to be an adventurous year, and I'm looking forward to it. I'm so thankful for this opportunity to be able to be the one to take control of the education of my own children. No one cares more about their education than Adam and I do. I'm grateful that God provided this opportuinty to us. And I'm happy to live in the United States where I'm free to home educate my children.

EDITED TO ADD: Oh I forgot. All of the girls will be learning to speak German with Rosetta Stone.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6:5-7

MY 100th Blog Post: by August & Kiley

For my 100th post I have decided to turn the page over to our two oldest girls. You will get to hear directly from August and Kiley. They are such a blessing to me. They are very loving, giving and joyful little girls. They are hardworking and helpful and I'm thankful everyday that I was chosen to be their mother. I cherish the time I've had with them. As the years of raising them get shorter and shorter I am excited to see what godly young women they will become. I look forward to watching them become wives and mothers and seeing them raise their own families.

 I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain to them how much I love them, and how much they mean to me. I'm sure when they have their own children they will understand. 3 years ago God made it possible for me to stay home with our children. Being home full time has really given me time to get to know them and become close with them. They are two of the sweetest people I have ever met in my life. I've said before, I hope I can be more like them when I grow up. They strive each day to do what is right, they have an intense desire to do things God's way. They are very humble and loving. They have taught me a lot. Seeing things through a child's eyes and a child's faith has softened my heart and helped me see God better.


 I asked my husband a few nights ago what he wanted for them. He said "I just want them to be happy". And, what do I want for them? I want them to have a firm foundation in their faith, so that whatever life throws at them they will trust God to see them through. I want them to have knowledge in the bible so that they will not be deceived. I want them to marry godly "men" who will protect them and allow them to be women. I want them to know the joys and love of being mothers. As I list these things I realize, I want the same thing my husband wants, for them to be happy. Sort of cliche, I know. I don't know how else to describe it. I'm going to turn this post over to the two of them.

 August's entry

    





When you have a family of seven and a number of pets each person has to have some responsibilities. For instance, Kiley and I have chores we have to do for free and some we do for money. There is a short free chore list; taking out the recycling, clean the litter box, clean the kitchen and dishes after dinner, clean our room, make sure our stuff isn't all over the house, keep our hermit crab cage clean. It might seem a little long but if you think about it, it really isn't.

Kiley and I have these lists called penny charts and we use them to earn money. For each chore we do we get 10 cents, except for free chores. But, if you do the whole kitchen it just isn't 10 cents, each thing is 10 cents. You see, it's 10 cent's each for loading the dishwasher, unloading the dishwasher, counters, stove, and sweeping. Plus, some days Mommy will do a 50 cent day or a 25 cent day. Or if you do a really big chore then it might be worth a little more. Each time we get up to $20.00 on our chart Mommy's pays us and takes us to the bank to put in our money. Doing all of my chores is totally worth it in the end because I can buy stuff that I want to buy.

Kiley's entry

My sister and I have been given responsibilities to take care of. My job is to take out the recycling everyday, make sure my room is clean, and my hermit crab cage is clean, and also maintain the kitchen. The chores that I listed are everyday chores that I don't get money for. Every other chore I do I get ten cents for. I mark my progress on a piece of paper. Certain chores we do sometimes will earn more money, for example when we clean Emily and Julia's room we get one or two dollars and the other day Haley, August and I cleaned the backyard and each got five dollars! That would be 50 chores normally. I think having responsibilities makes us more responsible, and makes us think and earn money just like in the real world.

*******************************************************

I think it's cute that they both picked their house chores to write about.

Operation Declutter: Day 3 & 4 - Finish Little Girls Room & Big Girls Room Closet

On Saturday, I finished up the little girls room. I cleaned out under their beds. There really wasn't much under there, definitely not enough to take up an entire blog post. The entire weight of garbage/clutter was only about 3 pounds. I washed the windows and vacuumed under the beds.

Today I started in the big girls room. I started in the closet, which didn't really look like that much....boy oh boy was I wrong. It took SOOOO LOOOONG!


If you wish to catch up, read about our previous days decluttering here

Day 3: THE LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM - Under the Beds:

The girls have play tents and tunnels which I do keep under their beds in a duffel bag. I also moved the umbrella strollers there. I found only a small amount of toys under there. That was nice. I vacuumed under and cleaned the window inside and out. I did a quick look through their shoe box and was able to toss a couple pairs that were too small. OH, and the coat rack, was a little cluttered, and I removed the coats to pack up with our winter stuff. It was a very quick day, only about 30 minutes. 

The random toys from under the bed

Duffel bag with play tents. This was my soccer bag when I was 13. Go Kool Kicks!

I had my little girl get under the bed and pull the stuff out. What? You didn't think I was going to do that did you?

  

Room all done!

Also on Saturday my husband and the children all worked on decluttering the back yardette in time for 4th of July. I didn't take pictures of that. I'm not adding in the outside stuff to the totals.

Day 4: THE BIG GIRLS ROOM: Closet

This was not supposed to be the next area of decluttering, but the older girls were so excited about how the little girls room looked that they wanted theirs to be next. I am having them help with their own room. We did their closet today. Whew! It was some work. It took us a few hours.


We started on the top shelf of the closet. The right side was full of board games, old school mementos they wanted to save. In the middle were a ton of pants hanging. It's been nearly a year since they stopped wearing pants, so it's about time those were gone.

Before: Top right side of closet

After: Top right side of closet

The top left side of the closet had more games, crafting projects, and their baby keepsake box which was overflowing. After going through the games, we realized most were Jr. age games and were too young for them but too old for the little girls, so they went to the donation pile.

Before: Top left side of closet

All of the games that were kept are neatly stacked on this side of the closet shelf.

After: Top left side of closet

On the clothes racks we removed and packed up all of the winter clothing to put in the attic storage. We did donate a bit and some items that were too small were bagged and stored until the little girls fit into them.  

Before: Some of the hanging clothes

After

The bottom/floors of the closet were last. My step-daughter has her own dresser in the closet and that area was pretty scary. Most of the stuff in and around her dresser was too small or it was for winter. It's been in the 90's and 100's here so all those long sleeves and sweatshirts are not needed and wont be again for several months. (Seasonal items that we store are not being counted into the clutter poundage).

Before: Bottom right side of closet

After: Bottom right side of closet

The left side was just as scary. There were more games, and various other things that were just shoved in there. I found two backpacks full of old schoolwork form last year. There was also a white box/chest type of thing in there that was falling apart and full of stuff that could be recycled or donated. A few books were kept from the chest and put on the shelf up top.

Before: Bottom left side of closet

After: Bottom left side of closet

Recycle and garbage pile

Donation pile

 (all donations are going to Victory Baptist Church for the annual rummage sale)

I spent about $20 to get storage bins for the girls "memory" stuff. They were sharing boxes and it was getting too full. Each girl now has a box, to put their keepsake stuff in, and this will go into the attic storage.

 I am amazed at the amount of stuff we were able to be rid of today. It makes my heart happy and I had to take a huge sigh of relief. Today's weight of removed clutter, just form the girls closet was a whopping 75.3 pounds. When added to the 3 pounds from finishing the other room and the previous running total, we now are at 140.4 pounds. WOW!!

We will be taking off tomorrow and Thursday and hopefully should pick back up again on Friday. Have a fabulous week. God bless.

Please Excuse our House

Some houses try to hide the fact

That children shelter there,

Ours boasts of it quite openly,

The signs are everywhere!

For smears are on the windows,

Little smudges on the door.

I should apologize I guess

For toys strewn on the floor.

But I sat down with the children

And we played and laughed and read,

And if the door bell does not shine,

Their eyes will shine instead!

For when at times I am freed to choose

The one job or the other,

I want to be a homemaker

But first I'll be a Mother!

---Anonymous

I found this poem today and I really loved it.

Our days are usually busy...These kids are so much fun!

Having children will ruin your life

I happened across this article and thought it was a joke. I'm still hoping it is. The characters names are changed and this was written by a woman who has no children.

The Glory of Motherhood and Shame

(the title is linked to the original website)

article in black, my comments in blue

(I found a lot of Shame in this article but no Glory)

Being a mother is hard. I do not know this from first-hand experience, but a close-personal-friend is a mother, and this post will be primarily about her. Let's pretend her name is something generic like Jane, okay?

Knowing a mother is not anything close to having a child, even babysitting is not even close. Sorry. A non mother can't even fathom the love that a mother has for a child, even when she is stressed out. As a close personal friend, she probably gets the moments of venting. "Being a  mother is hard". So are a lot of other things.

Jane has a ten-month old son. She lives with the father of said son, they both raise their son, and he - we'll call him John - works a full-time job and financially supports both baby and Jane, who is unable to work. (To clarify, Jane tried to work, but both Jane and John found the cost of daycare too prohibitive to make Jane's paycheck financially worth it.)

It would be ideal for John to actually make a family out of his girlfriend and son and marry her. He's already working to care for them, just do it. Go to the courthouse. Children (I know from experience) prefer their parents be married.

This man, leaves his home and family every morning to work all day long, even when he doesn't feel like it, to financially support the family he created.  Jane is not unable to work as this article states, she made a choice to have a family. Obviously, John makes enough money for her to enjoy watching her child grow and learn. Why would she prefer someone else raise her child? . A child in daycare is with a stranger most of the awake hours of the day being influenced by that stranger and not the mother. Ask ANY child if they would rather be home with Mommy or at a strange place with a stranger. They WILL choose Mommy. Where would you want to be if you were a baby? Jane should not be ashamed that she isn't dumping her kid in some place where they don't love him, she should feel lucky that her man works so hard to take care of them. This ungratefulness is probably the reason she is still unmarried.

Before Jane had her son, she had an exciting life. She had exciting jobs, that she did very well at, and that brought her decent paychecks. She had friends. Her life is drastically different, now. She only has a couple of close friends now, whom she isn't able to see very often. She doesn't have a job, and is financially dependent on somebody else, which bothers her to no end. She doesn't go out with friends - who wants to hang out with a baby? She can't really leave the house because with a ten-month-old, where are you going to go? Her interests and hobbies have dried up, and her life revolves around her son. She's trying to go back to school, but is restricted to online classes because, like I mentioned above, daycare is just not a viable option.

I actually wanted to highlight this entire paragraph. It sounds like Jane is very selfish. When you have a child, and husband (in her case a boyfriend), it's no longer about you and how you feel. People are so wrapped up in how things make them feel and forget that  commitment doesn't always "feel good". The way this is written implies that Jane's son is to blame for all her unhappiness, that he has sentenced her to a life of sitting at home and doing nothing. "She doesn't have a job", Ah, but she does have a job, it just doesn't generate a paycheck. Raising a child/children is the MOST IMPORTANT job a mother could do. She is cultivating and influencing a human being to someday be an adult and a productive member of society.

The "being financially dependent" on someone argument always irritates me. Obviously Jane doesn't like being financially dependent on the man who loves her, but would rather be financially dependent on an employer who doesn't care one bit about her or her son and could replace her in a blink of an eye. Ladies, you are ALWAYS financially dependent on someone, even if you're self employed. No one cares more about the interest of her and her son, than John does. He gets up everyday and works to make sure she and the boy are taken care of. She should be happy he does this. Again, selfish and ungratefulness could also by why she is still unmarried.

When you have children before your friends do, you will encounter friends not desiring to do things you do. It happens. There are a lot of women who have children who are also dying to be befriended. And there is nothing keeping her from actually leaving the house, she's having a selfish pity party. Pop that kid in a stroller, walk around the block, to the park (there are moms at the park, with kids), to the store, to an aquarium, museum, the library story time. Look in the phone book or Internet (it's free at the library) for local moms groups. Seriously, if you stay inside the house all day, you could go crazy. This is true even for those without kids.

Let's examine John's life. Before his son was born, he worked, hung out with friends, played video games, went hunting, fishing, and generally enjoyed a life of no strings attached manly freedom. After said baby was born, John works, hangs out with his friends, plays video games, goes fishing and about once a month goes out to the coast to spend a few days drinking and hunting and other various manly activities. When John wakes up in the morning he spends time with his son, and when he gets home after work. But he still finds time to do all the things he did before; his life has changed very little.

This is written to make John look like a jerk. When in actuality he works at least 40 hours a week, away from his girlfriend and son, not counting driving time. He only gets to see his boy for a small amount of time in the morning and evening. I don't think this childless author understands the stress that the sole financial provider is under on a daily basis. (I used to be the one who worked and my hubby stayed home, so yes I understand).

Jane has ALL DAY LONG to play video games (babies nap) hang out with friends (there are women with kids at the park), the difference is, if she doesn't feel like doing something she really doesn't have to. Unlike John, who has to work whether he wants to or not. Jane could show some interest in his hobbies and go with him fishing. A baby can go fishing. Babies don't walk, so they can go anywhere you want them to. His life may appear to have changed very little, but it has changed a lot. Before he had freedom to be frivolous and carefree, now he has to make sure there is enough money to care for 3 people. I'll bet if she stopped nagging him and resenting him he would want to be around her more (and probably marry her too).

There is nothing people love to do more than shame mothers. The glory and miracle that is breastfeeding is touted by doctors and parenting magazines a like, but stories of companies kicking out breastfeeding mothers - like this one - are far from uncommon. And let's not forget the job issues: according to a 2008 study, not only will mothers be "100% less likely to be hired" than non-mothers, and if they did get hired offered $11,000 less than their just-as-qualified-but-childless female coworkers, but "fathers got higher ratings than non-dads." And in academia, fathers are much more likely to receive tenure, even more so than childless men, while the reverse is true for women.

Breastfeeding is wonderful. It would be nice if all women breastfed. Still, breasts are seen by men as sexual body parts and it would be respectful of breastfeeding mothers to use a light blanket or cover while feeding their baby in public.

Out of the hundreds of job applications and interviews I have gone on, I have NEVER been asked if I was a mother. If you go in to an interview wearing your kids soccer photo pin, they may know you have children. A company hiring doesn't need to know anything about your personal life, they only need to know what qualifies you for this job. Telling them you are a parent is voluntary on your part.

Why are women punished (and shamed, don't forget shamed) for motherhood but men are celebrated as fathers? John (see above) has managed to cram fatherhood into his life without affecting his social life very much. Jane, on the other hand, is practically a different person than she was a year ago, with radically different interests and aspirations. Why is this?

Jane is not being punished. Jane is being put on a pedestal by her man. She needs to wake up and see the wonderful gift she has been given. His life hasn't changed much? He again has much more responsibility then he did before. She has ALL DAY LONG to do whatever she wants. He has to juggle work, a son, a naggy girlfriend (you know it's true), his hobbies, friends, the car, the bills, sleep etc.

Please don't get me wrong, her life did change drastically. And YES staying home and raising children is tiring, challenging, stressful and some days you just want to run away. But, Jane has much more freedom than she thinks she has. She has much more than if she was employed outside of the home. Then she would have to be told when she could see her child, when she could eat, pee or make a phone call. She would have to deal with her child being sick all the time from daycare, and would have even less time to worry about the friends and hobbies she no longer can participate in.

Motherhood is a lifestyle. Fatherhood is a job. That means that mothers never stop being mothers. They are always there to cook meals, wash clothes, help with homework and, if employed, litter their cubicle with pictures of their kids. Fathers? Well, men can wake up in the morning, go to work, and fatherhood isn't a big part of their life. They don't have to take time off for school events or paternity leave. Fathers aren't the parent that is called if the child gets in trouble at school. When men get home from their job, then they can be fathers. It's a hat they can take on and off, and no one begrudges them that right. Fathers can take business trips and relish their alone time. Mothers are only allowed these trips if they make sure and Skype with their children and poor lonely husband every night. Fathers have dens, and garages; mothers get kitchens and bedrooms.

There are so many things wrong with this. This makes it sound like he is going to work for fun, like he's leaving to drink beer and play poker with his buddies. He "gets" to go to work, he "gets" to go on business trips. HE'S WORKING TO SUPPORT THIS UNGRATEFUL WOMAN AND HER SON! Of course he's a father when he gets home, how is he supposed to father the child while he's out slaying dragons all day so she can sit on her fat butt and complain that she has no life?

My husband has neither a den or a garage. I wish he did have these things, since I get to have a kitchen where I can prepare food for my family and a bedroom where I can relax with my husband.

I didn't know that seeing your child in an event at school was punishment. Mothers have maternity leave because they gave birth to a human being, who needs to be held, hugged and fed. The child need his mother to train him, hug him, feed him, love him, teach him, take him hunting for bugs. Hold his hand, kiss his boo boos, show him how to color and make playdoh snakes. MOTHERHOOD IS A WONDERFUL GIFT. It's not a punishment.


You say we've moved beyond these 50's-era suburban parenting stereotypes. You say parents come in all shapes and sizes, and parenting is evolving. And I would say that you're right, except the "norm" is still that 50's-era suburban stereotype. Pop-culture articles attempting to explain why mothers can't be feminists is part of it. A man can be a father, a husband, an engineer, a democrat, a republican, an animal rights activist, an NRA sponsor, a race-car driver. A woman can only be a mother, or a feminist, or an engineer. Women are generally not allowed to define themselves under more than one category, so when a woman - who is a mother - is not acting as motherly as is socially accepted, here come the pointing fingers and cold stares.

The idea that women should abandon their small children and work outside of the home for an employer who could care less about them, then pick up their child who now has behavior problems and a cold from a place where he was neglected all day, then drive through Mc Donald's because she is too tired to have planned a healthy nutritious meal for her family, come home and put the child to bed, and then tell her husband she's too tired to be intimate with him, is better than the 50's stereotype? A 50's era stereotype where women were able to actually be home and raise their own children, to capture the miracle that only comes from seeing the world through children's eyes, to be able to actually prepare healthy meals, too make a warm and cozy place for her family to dwell, to be able to take a quick rest so she can share the beauty of intimacy and love with her husband. I'd rather take the latter. The lives of children would we better if more women went back to the 50's era of actually raising the children they create. It's about the wellbeing of the CHILDREN.

Maybe to the outside world a woman can only be a mother, feminist or engineer, but to her husband and children, she is life. She is, a hero, the one who makes life worth living, who keeps them safe, clean, fed and cuddled. She is a dancer, an actress, a storyteller, a teacher, a princess, a queen, a Dr, a healer, a genius, a friend, a soft and safe place to go, she is the air they breathe, the sun during the day and the stars at night. Their worlds revolve around her. Being a mother is the most important thing she could ever do. She is missing out on a lot of happiness and love.

Her job can replace her, but her husband and children can't. Who cares what the outside world thinks. To her husband and children she is the whole world. That is ALL that should matter.

Jane complained how it's not fair that John gets to spend so much time out of the house but she is stuck inside it. She received a lecture from her mother about how "that's just what being a mother is about." Jane attempted to take classes at a community college but ended up failing because John was not willing to rearrange his schedule - or sacrifice his social life - to get home in time for her to leave for class. Interestingly enough, this was not seen as a failure on John's part, but rather on Jane's. Jane did not work hard enough, and if she just put her head down and powered through...well, you get the picture.

Sounds like Jane needs to get a clue. Jane is a spoiled selfish brat. I feel sorry for her son. It must be depressing to be home with a mother all day who would rather you be away form her. I wish I could go get this sweet baby boy and bring him home. Sadly, he's not the only one who's mothers would rather hand them off so they can "feel good" and "look good" to people who don't matter anyway. I feel bad for John, who shows his love by taking care of her and her son, and will never receive any appreciation from Jane. The grass is not greener. Jane will find herself no longer being an at home mom, because John will get tired of her and leave her (still never marrying her), and she will have her dream of a daycare raised child and an employer who doesn't care about her. WAY TO GO JANE!!

It hurts my heart to see so many women have been brainwashed to think that they are more worthy if they bring home a paycheck. This is so not true. They hold the most worth in the eyes of their husbands and children. Choosing to raise your own children, could pose some financial changes. We went from a huge yearly salary, to a very very small one. We had to rearrange our finances, and budget better. I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't imagine dropping my girls off with strangers all day.

It's sad that people are more careful with their money than they are with their children. Their money is in a high security bank, and their children are with strangers. Just because they have a license doesn't make them love or care about your child. Background checks only check what has been discovered. There can be molesters, abusers and weirdos who's backgrounds have not yet been discovered.

I know there are situations where daycare is necessary, and I'm not saying all daycare providers are evil and abusive and don't love children. It would be nice if it was a very last resort choice and not a first. Kids need their moms, at home. Period. I'm concluding that the author of this article must be very young and/or brainwashed by anti-children/husband feminsta women.

Psalm 127:3
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Learning to be married

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6

This is a glimpse into a few of my many failures, faults. Slowly I am learning. I have a long way to go.

Some things I've learned so far:

1. Divorce is not an option, don't even bring it up, ever.

2. Don't ever argue in front of your children

3. Be extra forgiving of the faults of your spouse

4. Listen, don't be so quick to speak what is on your mind

5. Smile and speak sweetly

6. Only take marriage advice from couples who have been married longer than you (preferably longer than 10 years). Don't take advice from divorced women or newly weds.


Our marriages are a life long relationship. They are a gift from God and have the potential to be the greatest earthly relationship we will ever experience. If our spouses should be the most important person in our world, why do we then place our children above our spouse? Why do we set them higher than our mates? Our children are also a gift from God, but the time they live with us is temporary. The time we are with our spouse is forever.

Why do we wives think we can push our husbands aside, and pour ourselves into our children, homes, friends and churches? What is left for the man that we have been blessed to share our lives with? We save the very last for them, and expect them to just deal with it.

My husband doesn't act the same as when we were dating. And, do I? Not at all. Our husbands deserve the best, our first. They put up with so much from us. They deserve our all. Of course this doesn't mean to neglect our children. duh! ;) If we gave as much to our men as we do to our kids, churches, friends, think how awesome our marriages would be. We wives have a lot of power over our marriages. We can make or break them most of the time.

I am purposing to pray more for my husband.  Not just the normal daily prayers, but really spending time with God focusing on praying for my husbands heart, his needs and his leadership in our family.

We set the precedent for our childrens' marriages. Our marriages should be ones our children want to emulate. Through my failures as a wife, I'm afraid I started off on the wrong foot in showing them what a help meet really is. The older girls are getting closer to the age where they will want to start looking for a mate and I hope that what they learn from me will be beneficial to a life long loving happy marriage. They see a lot more than we think they do.

I'm still learning to do things Gods way and not my way. My way has proved to be very wrong. As I learn God's way of being a mother, I notice my children are calmer, happier and better behaved. As I learn God's way of being a wife, I notice my husband being more loving, helpful, giving and a stronger leader.

I've tossed in the towel on the worlds way of raising a family and being a wife. I've seen the worlds children and marriages, and I want NOTHING to do with them. My marriage is far from perfect, in fact it's not one to model after. As we overcome struggles, work through differences and pass through those times of just not "feeling in love", we will become stronger. We want our daughters to someday come to us and be able to express their need for guidance because they saw us make it.

I thank God and my husband for their patience with me. 

A Fun Weekend With The Little Twins

Adam and I had a rare opportunity of just having the two little girls alone this weekend. All of the bigger girls were gone. It's nice to be able to spend special time with the kids alone or in smaller groups, especially since the age gap is pretty big. We took Emily and Julia out to breakfast at IHop. They each had free meal pass for their birthday. And we headed off to the Zoo.

They had so much fun. We didn't see the entire zoo, we mostly were in the Children's area. They have been to this zoo a few times so they showed us what there was to do. It was super cute. We had a wonderful time. They got their faces painted, which seemed the highlight of their day.

After the zoo we came home and planted a little mini veggie garden. We will be planting more soon, this was just to get us started. Actually, Adam, Emily and Julia did the gardening. I'm not allowed because I have a black thumb. HA!

(photo comments are above each photo)

Snapdragons in our back yardette

Cool swinging monkey guy
Julia

Making clay California Poppy planters

Climbing

A rare glimpse of me. My Sweetie and Me!

Emily, Julia and Adam

Daddy and Julia having her face painted

Emily's face painting

Julia's kitty paint (she was very excited)

Emily the tiger (she was equally excited)

Always climbing

Alligator

Pretty flowers

Neat little yellow frog

Brushing goats

Daddy gardening

With their new garden stuff (thanks Auntie Amy)

Water

Our little garden